A Defining Moment

     Five years ago was a defining moment for me, professionally.  This post showed up in my Facebook memories today.  Five years ago, I had only heard of Jim Sporleder and his work with  students in trauma.  Then he came to our little town of Hutchinson, KS.  He only spoke to the district administration, but the community was invited to hear him speak later that same evening.  This was a chance in a lifetime! And gosh, I'm glad I did!  This man, my edu-hero, gave a name to what I always thought teaching should be! I left that speaking engagement in tears! I was so grateful.

 On this day

5 years ago

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Kristin Jenkins

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I.AM.SO.THERE.

Hutchinson Public Schools

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Jim Sporleder, who worked with a Walla Walla, Wash., high school to change attitudes and responses to student trauma and lives spoke Thursday morning to USD 308 administrators. Those changes led to fewer student behavior issues, higher test scores and higher graduation rates.

And both students and staff felt they were being heard and respected.

Sporleder will speak at a community event at 6:30 this evening at CrossPoint, 1410 E. 30th Ave. The public is invited to attend.

 Not only that, but then I mentioned wanting a copy of his book during a Twitter Chat. He saw the tweet and sent me an autographed copy of his book. Then I was blessed to meet him, in person, at a conference. I consider him a mentor and a friend!  Meeting him was a defining moment for me because he gave a name to how I still believe teaching should be and how I strive to reach my students each day!

September 19, 1968

 

     This is my annual post to honor my father who was killed when his plane went down just three miles short of the runway in Ubon, Thailand. following a mission in an F-16 fighter jet over Vietnam.  I had just turned seven years old, when life, as I knew it, was turned upside down. 

     As I reflect on this day, I firmly believe that this traumatic event has shaped me into who I am today.  You see, in my seven year-old brain, my daddy died while I was at school, so if I went to school, my mommy would die, too.  I can vividly remember hiding under the dining room table, sobbing, and refusing to come out.

     Enter Maxine Moore and Louise Schuman.  Mrs. Moore was my second grade teacher and Mrs. Schuman was the counselor at Hawthorne Elementary School in Lincoln, Nebraska.  These two women were instrumental in getting me back into the school.  Mrs. Moore would meet me at the door, before school started, and let me come to the classroom before the rest of the class arrived. I would pass out morning work, draw pictures, or sharpen pencils. Oftentimes, Mrs. Schuman would be there, as well.  While I thought they were just hanging out, they were quietly helping me feel comfortable before the other students arrived.

     A year later, my mom remarried and we moved two hours from Lincoln, to the farm.  The farm was, and still is heaven!  My brother and I were also just a mile from our cousins. I had a horse and so many farm cats!!  However, my mom saw the importance in retaining that relationship with those who had helped me through my darkest time, so she kept our dentist in Lincoln.  She'd make our appointments for later in the day and afterwards, we'd always see Mrs. Moore.  

     Mrs. Moore even came to my high school graduation! When it was time for college, I decided that I wanted to be a teacher, like Mrs. Moore.  So, it was back to Lincoln for me, to attend the University of Nebraska.  Mrs. Moore continued to be there for me.  I would go to her home to study or talk about what I was learning and feed off of her experience.  If I didn't go back to the farm on the weekend, there was an open-door policy for Sunday dinner at Mrs. Moore's home.

     It is because of Mrs. Moore's strong influence that I teach the way I do.  I firmly believe in the coined educational phrase, "Maslow before Bloom," meaning that each child's physiological and social emotional needs must be met before any deep learning can happen. Her impact on my life was so great that I dedicated the book I wrote to her.

 

I Cried...

      This past week, I cried at school.  I cried because no child, at the ages of four to five years old, should have experienced the kind of pain that makes them lash out for reasons unknown to me.  What could have possibly happened in their short lives that causes them to destroy everything in their path? To become so upset that they aren't able to be consoled or helped to calm down?

     I cried for the the student who has had unspeakable things done to them by someone who should be keeping them safe, not doing something to them that would make your skin crawl. All I can do for this child is to provide a safe, loving environment. To listen when they feel like talking. To do everything in my power to let them know that nothing can hurt them when they are with me.

     I cried because of what preschool has become.  No longer is preschool about exposure to experiences that they have not been able to experience.  It's now about preparation for kindergarten.  It about arbitrary "learning loss."  If I hear that term again, I'm going to scream!

     What if teaching were about meeting kids where they are and engaging them to go further than ever thought possible.  What if we measured learning gains, instead of holding children accountable for some set of standards that some big curriculum publishing company decided they should know at a given age?  Our children are not machines!  They are special, unique individuals.

     The social-emotional needs of our children are higher than ever.  Last year,  I was incensed by the term "Covid kids."  The children in my classroom now haven't known anything else!  They have only known some form of social isolation. The Corona Virus hit my area of the United States in March of 2020.  The students that are currently in my class were only two years old at that time.  Their social/emotional needs are HUGE! Let's focus on that, shall we?  It's the only way to help our students be successful. e

     Let us be a voice for our children! Let us hear them, protect them, and love them for the unique, individual, truly amazing people that they are.  Each child!

     

Trying to Get My Groove Back

      This is it! The beginning of my fortieth year of teaching, most of which has been in the field of Early Childhood Education.  Yet another new school.  I am cautiously optimistic that this move will be a good one.

•      I am convinced that the train-wreck that was last year is the cause of me recently being diagnosed with high blood pressure.  There were things happening there that I had never experienced in my long career.  
• Cameras in the classroom.
• No custodian on site (we had to clean after meals, messes in the restrooms, vomit, used condoms off the playground...). 
• No meal prep person for a good part of the year, so my paras and I had to serve the meals. 
• Internet issues because our location was not "on the system," meaning that in order to fix anything on our district-issued laptops, IT had to take them to a building that was on the system. 
• Not having access to some of the online tools the school district was requiring me to use.  
• Being asked to do other things that were outside of anything ever written in a teaching contract, only to have  that documentation have no bearing whatsoever, so it was a complete waste of my time and energy. 
• Not having common teaching tools like pencil sharpeners, a cutting board, die cuts-things that would make life easier. 
• A bullet shot through a classroom window, after hours,  with that bullet being found on a child's desk.  No one from the district even came to see how staff members were doing after that incident. 
• And the assessing! I barely had time to teach, I was so busy assessing!  Good Lord!  They're three and four years old! Let them play! Let them be little!  Kids are more than just a data point of one moment in time.  I understand the need for assessing. I do! That being said, I don't think it's fair to assess them on something I haven't had time to teach because I'm so busy assessing.  It's a vicious circle!

     I understand that it sounds like I'm complaining, and maybe I am. However, in all of my years of teaching, I have never experienced anything close to what last school year was.  The saving grace was most definitely the students and their families!  I was told that there was a particular adult family member that I would never get through to.  At our end of the school year home visit, we were hugging a crying.  This goes back to the mountain I choose to die on: Teaching is all about relationships and family engagement!

     This school year already feels like  a breath of fresh air.  I'm in the same district, but now building: Ross Signature Music Elementary School.  Did you hear me say "Music?"  Yay! At our staff development meeting, before school started, there was talk about an all-school musical!  Say what?!? 

     My para basically taught the class last year due to a revolving door of guest teachers, so she has been tremendous help!  The team of preschool teachers and their paras are passionate about little people and love to have fun!  What?!?  Fun while teaching?!?!  The building is HUGE!  There are 500+ students, grades PreK-5th. The thought process about this large school is two schools within a school.  That means an assistant principal and support staff for grades Prek-2nd and the same for 3rd through 5th grade.  It's genius!

     I no longer have a class of three and four year-olds, only four year-olds. The students are all developmentally in the same ballpark. Many of them have had previous preschool experience. They know how to sit and listen to a story.  I know it's only been two days, but I am hopeful.  We had an amazing turnout at Back-to-School Night. I think that our principal was impressed!  The home visits, before school started, helped to begin fostering positive family relationships. It is my prayer that I am able to get my groove back and have an amazing year!

Love Hard

      When you truly have a near-death experience it makes you realize how important the people you love are! A week ago, we went to see Jacque, Michale, and Phiona in San Antonio.  It was so great to see them, in person and spend some much-needed quality time with them.  One of the things they wanted to share with us was a float trip down the Guadalupe River, north of San Antonio.  It's one of their favorite things to do, so naturally, we were game!

     The water was not deep at all!  Most of the time it was barely over our hips. Jacque and Michaeel acrually spent much of the time dragging us!  It was a beautiful day!!  In one very small area (two feet wide by five feet long) there was just a bit of white water.  There was a guy standing at the top of this area, holding onto three tubes, like he was waiting for someone to catch up to him.  Anyway, my tube hit one of his and flipped.  I could touch, but couldn't get my footing due to the pressure of the water and the tubes on top of my head.  It was so scary.  I am not exaggerating when I say that I thought I was going to die!  At the last second, I was able to get my head above the water, though under a capsized tube, giving me a pocket of air.

     So other people helped me to the shore, where I was bent over, gasping for air.  I looked upstream, to see where Chuck was and he was sitting on a boulder by the fast water.  I found out later, that he thought he hit his chest where his pacemaker.defibrillator is, however, there was no bruising.  We later figured out that his heart rate went up while he was trying to rescue me and his device shocked him.  Almost a double whammy!

     After we got out of the river, I had him put his Smart Watch on and check is pulse and blood pressure and both were back to normal.  Praise God!

     All this to say that life is precious and you never know when it can be taken from you. So love hard and tell those that you love how important they are to you!

Brave Space

     These images have been sitting on my desktop for awhile now, I have been trying to find the words in the hope that sharing my story will help others.

     Every life has a purpose, a meaning.  Sometimes the things you go through, the things that are meant to break you, only serve to make you stronger.  When this is the case, you should share your story so that it may help others.

     Trauma: Losing my father, shortly after my 7th birthday, when his plane went down during the Vietnam War.  I am grateful to my second grade teacher every single day for helping this very sad and very scared little girl. She is why I became a teacher.  Many of my followers know this story. When I wrote my book about the importance of family engagement in a child's educational process, I dedicated it to her.

     Abuse: A near rape in college. There is no doubt in my mind that it would have been had the police not been on my dorm floor and I threatened to scream.  His football career wold have been over.

     Spousal abuse:  Cheating, cheating, and more cheating. I did leave? Three different times. The first time, he cancelled my credit cards and access to our joint account.  I took my next paycheck and opened my own account.  The next time he punched me so hard that the bruising went from my bicep and into my breast.  The last time, I came home from a trip to see my brother and found sparkling panty hose in the guest bed, that didn't belong to me.    Long story, short: For my I did leave, for good. 

     Medical anxiety: During my baseline colonscopy, the doctor found "encapsulated cancerous cells."  The big "C" word is scary!  Three years of colonoscopies every six months is scary.  I am now on the five-year plan, praise the Lord.

     Borderline diabetic.  Nope. Not having that.  Got rid of it with diet and exercise. Yay, me!

     

     Triggers: ALL.THE.TIME.  Words, phrases, dates in history.  All of these can trigger emotions, either about my father or the ex.  It doesn't matter where I am or what I'm doing. Triggers can be smells, music, sights, and words. 

     I share this only to say, if you need someone to listen to, if you need help getting out of a toxic place, I am hope that my story can help you.  I am here. I see you. I hear you.

     I have been so many women and I am a survivor!  

 

Thoughts Are My Own

 

     The attached image was sent to me, privately, by a dear friend of mine.  This friend wondered whether or not I felt this was a true statement.  Here are my thoughts. They are based on many years of classroom experience.

     What I said was this, "Not the grooming and sexual chaos part.  We are expected to parent students when all their parents do is hand them a screen.  Parents don't TALK to their kids.  They don't have screen-free dinner times. Kids don't know how to physically play."  Allow me to expand.

     Kids eat three meals a day at school (breakfast, lunch, and a healthy snack), to make sure they are getting healthy foods.  This leaves families needing only to provide one meal a day. It used to be that the only meal kids got at school was lunch.

     With more and more focus on the mental health needs of our students, classrooms are also becoming the place where kids learn the correct way to handle their strong emotions.  In my classroom, the motto is: "Never hurt anyone one the inside or the outside."  That's pretty all-encompassing.  My kids are little, so we talk about ways to be hurt that you can't see on the outside, but that hurt you on the inside, like the ever present, "I'm not going to be your friend!" or "You can't play with us." and how that makes us feel.  You can't see it on the outside, but it sure hurt us on the inside. Many children are not taught how to care about others before coming to school.  When talking to one parent about some behavior issues his child had, he said to me, "You should be glad you didn't have me in school. I was way worse."  You're missing the point. We need to work together so that these behavior problems don't continue. 

     We teach children how to self-regulate; what to do if you're mad, sad, glad, or afraid.  If you're mad, you can't slug someone at school.  If you're sad, we help our kids learn to express why they are sad and how we can help them fix that.  Sometimes we can't and our kids just need a hug or someone to listen.  Afraid? Oh, baby! The things these kids are growing up around. It would scare me and I'm an adult!  Kids talking about It and Pennywise. Seriously? Those are R-rated movies for a reason.  Kids don't have the ability, yet, to understand the difference between movies and real life.  The same is true for video games. There are plenty out there that are age-appropriate for kids.  Call of Duty and Grand Theft auto are not two of them.

     Today's students are coming to their classrooms with fewer and fewer social skills.  Lots of this was brought on by the pandemic, sure.  However, there is also a fundamental breakdown in some homes.  In most homes, mine included, there is a crazy addiction to screen time.  I know I've blogged about this before.  Kids get cranky in the grocery store? Hand them a device.  Kids are being loud when you're trying to have an adult conversation? Hand them a screen.  Screen time has become a babysitter for kids.  It has taken the place of face-to-face conversations.  Kids don't know how to have conversations anymore, much less how to disagree appropriately. That training should begin in the home.  In most cases it does.  However, there are many cases where it does not.

     The rise in inattentive behaviors?  Screen time.  Lack of meaningful conversations in the home. Kids want the instant gratification that screen time gives.  When I was assessing kids (which happens to be on a device) kids were clicking all over the place, rather than waiting to hear the instructions.  They want a response and they want it NOW!  Kids don't know how to wait and take turns.

     Home visits?  "Here. Play on my phone while I talk to your teacher." What?  No!  Involve the child in the conversation!  This is a team effort!

     This is in no way meant to be a put-down of families. They are doing everything they can to just keep their heads above water.  I get that,  This is why schools are so important! We are working in tandem with the families to ensure that each child in our classroom is working to his.her full potential.  Ask any of my previous families.  We work together.  Sometimes the conversations we have are not easy for either of us. That being said, if all we want is what's best for kids, then sometimes we need to have those conversations.  Is the role of education changing? Constantly! But to have someone come out and say that schools are failing? I challenge any of you to come and spend a week in my classroom!  Not an hour or a day. You won't get a true feeling for the nature of the classroom. You need a big picture of the daily struggles and triumphs that teachers deal with each and every single day. Don't you dare say we are failing our students! We do the best we know how. And when we learn a better way, we do better.  Why? For the kids.  It's always about the kids.