Be a Voice, Not an Echo

     Have you ever thought that a statement might just be given to you for a purpose? That's what happened to me this morning. I was mindlessly scrolling through Facebook while drinking a mug of chai tea and waiting for the dryer to finish when this statement, from six years ago, popped up on my news feed: “Be A Voice, Not An Echo.” It made me stop and think. So here goes. I'm being a voice.

     To say this past school year was rough would be a huge understatement. In the process of jumping through hoops for three sets of hoops, (district, building, and Head Start)  I lost myself, my focus, and my identity. Reflecting this summer has helped me see that and it breaks my heart.

First of all, I moved to a new school district. Learning the cultural norms of a new district is tough. Not knowing the ins and outs of the building and district is daunting for any new teacher, whether they are a veteran teacher or fresh from college. I knew no one and felt like I needed to show everyone that I was a good teacher and worthy colleague. This was only my perception.

     Secondly, and probably my biggest downfall personally, was that our school district was part of a collaborative agreement with Head Start. I have never, nor will ever, look at a child differently because of their socio-economic status, color of their skin, the family's religious preference, learning exceptionalities, or even their behavior. To me, all little people are the same and have, relatively, the same needs; to be loved and to explore and be curious. All kids are equal in that arena.

So back to this previous school year. Because Head Start is a federal program, they need to follow certain governmental procedures and policies. Understood. The struggle was that old adage: “It's always been done that way.” I had two classroom aides, that were paid by Head Start. I am paid by the school district. My aides were immersed in “The Head Start Way,” and could not, or chose not to, bend to my way of thinking about what's best for kids and thirty-four years of experience in Early Childhood Education. My aides were, in fact, telling me how I should run my classroom. Honestly, it got to the point where I would get out the Head Start manual and ask them to show me the policy.  Unless it was a governmental policy, I told my aides that we were doing it my way. This caused a huge division in our classroom. This was were I got lost. My whole mindset was changed. I went from thinking “This is what's best for kids,” to “Can I teach this without causing a conflict between myself and my aides?” I completely lost what was best for kids. I can see that now, a month after school is out. It has taken that long to unravel all of that in my mind.

     To the families of last year's students, I'm sorry! I did the best I could given the circumstances. I tried not to let it show with your sweet, precious, children. They are what kept me grounded. Please know that. To my team, my tribe; thank you for your undying support! I couldn't have made it without you! To building and district leadership; next year will be better. That is my promise to you. I will be better. My focus will be on what truly matters; the children. As for the coming year-watch out! I'm back and will be advocating for children with an unmatched love and fierceness!

Why You Need To Practice Self-Care

     Many people in the education field are now taking notice of the need for self-care. We love our students, Of course, we do. However, sometimes the burdens these little people bring to our classrooms are even too much for us to believe, much less understand, and we being to internalize how to best serve these children who have been subjected to so much in their short little lives. This is when it becomes time to find some healthy ways to take care of ourselves or the burden of teaching, maintaining a household, and having some form of social life with break you.

     The book, “Balance Like a Pirate,” by authors Jessica Cabeen, Jessica Johnson, and Sarah Johnson will give you some great ideas on just how to do that. They break down your time into four quadrants: Personal, Professional, Positional, and Passion. Personal balances are the responsibilities you have outside of your job and what you do to maintain and grow them. Positional balances is all about your real job and it's demands on your time. Professional balance is how you are going about learning more and moving forward. Passion balance is about the things that set your soul on fire. Finding and maintaining a balance between these four quadrants is tough!

     This is my “why” about the importance of self-care in my life. A year ago, I switched school districts for a wide number of reasons. I was, and am, still teaching preschool. Just in a neighboring district. To say that the transition was smooth sailing would be a boldfaced lie! There were some things I was not aware of going in. The biggest of which was that there was a Memorandum of Understanding in place between the school district and another entity. For the sake of the length of this blog, let's just say the outside entity didn't play well in the sandbox with others. It was to be their way or the highway. There was nothing collaborative about it. To make matters worse, everything I did in the classroom was being reported back to the outside entity. Friends! I ended up being put on high blood pressure medication. I was trying so hard to keep cool on the outside, for the sake of my sweet children, that it was eating me up on the inside. I hated going to work. I wondered what fresh hell awaited me each day. If it weren't for my students, I probably would have ended up in the looney bin!

     By October, my body, mind, and soul were done! If I wasn't going to take notice, my body decided to do it for me. I had a full-blown, knock-you-on-your- butt migraine. I thought my head was going to explode!! I couldn't even get to the car so my husband could take me to the ER without throwing up. We had to call 911. When I got to the hospital, not even the “migraine cocktail” would take the edge off. It was that bad. The doctor even ordered a CAT scan to see if I had a brain bleed (I didn't. Praise the Lord!). That's was what it took! I decided then and there that I was going to start listening to my body.

     I no longer apologize for coming home after school and taking a nap or going to bed before 9 pm. I started journaling and documenting the things that were happening in my classroom. Just getting it out there, even if no one saw it, was huge. I called on my tribe of friends both at work and outside of work, even my Twitter PLN, to reinforce, that in my teaching methods, I was doing the right thing. I thought that I was, but with all of the negativity around me, I had begun to doubt myself and my teaching abilities. The problems in my classroom worked themselves out and we completed the year strong and, best of all, happy!

     One of the things that was mentioned in “Balance Like a Pirate” was getting back to your passions. I've gone back to playing my grandma's piano that's been sitting idly in our living room. I've been doing “closet karaoke” when it's just me and the dogs at home during the day. They aren't quite sure what to think! Ha!

I just want all of you that took the time to read this that self-care should not be looked at as a luxury. I learned the hard way that it is vital to your every day functioning and your health. Please think about carving out some “me time” before your body does it for you.