Monday, April 29, 2019

"That Kid"





     When you dig as deeply as I have into children coming to us from trauma backgrounds, you see things through a very different lens. Now, whenever I watch tv or a movie, I see the circumstances of the characters differently.
Take, for example, “that kid.” You know the one. The kid who gets under your skin. That kid that you have to give a personal invitation to in order to get them to follow directions you've already given. “That kid.”
     I've learned that you shouldn't take that child's behavior personally. That kid is simply communicating an intense need. It is our job to build relationships with our students, to understand them, to know their likes and dislikes, to comfort them, to encourage and support them.
     Deep down, they're all good kids, with potential, with dreams and things that they care about. With many of these kids, we, as their teachers, don't get to see this. This is what they are feeling inside, why they act out. They are afraid. They are in pain. They are sad. They show us this with their anger and their defiance. They are the children who have been let down by important adults in their lives. They have learned not to count on anyone or anything. Because of this, what we see is acting out and defiance. It's a cover for the pain they are feeling.
     This is their cry for help! They want the same thing everyone else does. They want safety, security, and to be loved. These kids are fragile. They want the same thing every other kid wants. They just have so much junk in the way, in their homes, and in their developing minds.
     Here's how teachers can help. Ask them questions. Give them a safe place to be. Maybe, slowly, they will learn to trust you. Or it could take a long time, and you won’t see any progress in your time with them, but your patience, love and kindness toward “that kid” will plant a feeling, an idea, that could grow and bloom several years later. Just love them. Everything else will fall into place.

Wednesday, April 17, 2019

I Can't Do It...




As the end of yet another school year is quickly approaching, I cannot, and will not, countdown to the last day with my students. I simply can't do it. I've never been able to. Have there been times in the past thirty five years that I've thought about it? I'd be lying to you if I said “no.” Still, I've never been able to countdown.  
    Why, you might ask? There are many reasons, but     what it boils down to is that in my tiny little classroom, year after year, we've become a family. When you spend 150+ days together, it's hard not to. Of the sixteen students currently in class, thirteen of them have been with me since Day #1!
This year, I found something a little different to do with my students. I took a picture of each of them and asked me to tell them something they felt they were good at. Next, I put their picture with their statement they gave me on the bulletin board. Each day, I'm going to take down the one belonging to the Special Helper for the day, glue it into the middle of a piece of poster board, and ask each child in the class to tell me something they like about that student. I'm going to write it on the poster board surrounding the Special Helper's picture and give it to them as a keepsake for their time in my classroom.
     I started today. Let me tell you, when it came time for the rest of the class to tell me something they liked about the child in the center, I almost cried in front of the whole class! They were so sweet and kind! I thought to myself, “If all I've done this year is to teach them to be kind to one another, then that's good enough for me!” This group of children who came together with me, a new teacher in the building and some not knowing one another have become a tight-knit group of children. I pray that they continue to be these caring, compassionate children as they grow. The world we live in needs more of this.
When I think of this year's class and their kindness and empathy, I am constantly reminded of Isaiah 11:6, where it says, “and a child shall lead them.” That's how I feel about these children! They can be leaders with their kindness.
Each year, I know I'm going to miss my students and each year it's for a different reason because each class is unique. Building relationships is hard work, but oh, so worth it!!