I Was a Starfish

I Was a Starfish

     It was September of 1968. I had just started second grade a month prior. Life, as we knew it was about to be turned completely upside down.  There was a knock on the door and there stood two uniformed Air Force officers.  My father had become a casualty of the Vietnam War.

     He was returning from a reconnaissance mission to an airfield in Ubon, Thailand when his fighter jet crashed, just three miles short of the runway.  He was trained to fly B-52 Bombers.  No one knows why he was flying a fighter jet that night.  The co-pilot ejected and lived.  I had just turned seven.  My brother was 5.

     To understand the mind of a seven year-old is a challenge.  I reacted by not wanting to go to school. I can remember hiding under the dining room table of the duplex we were living in.  I was afraid to go to school because my father had died while I was at school and I didn’t want my mother to die while I was at school.  That’s how my little brain was processing this tragedy.

     Enter Maxine Moore and Louise Shuman, second grade teacher and elementary guidance counselor, respectively.  These two women helped me get back in to the school routine, going above and beyond for this little starfish!  Mrs. Moore would greet me at the door and whisk me away to her classroom where she had “jobs” waiting for me.  We would talk while I passed out papers, fed the fish, or sharpened pencils.  Gradually, through the compassion of these two women, I began to feel less afraid. 

     But, wait!!  The story doesn’t stop there!  Mrs. Moore and I stayed in contact with each other, even after my mom remarried and we moved two hours away!  When I moved back to the city I’d been living in during second grade, to attend college, guess who was my biggest cheerleader?  You guessed it!  Mrs. Moore!  Her home was my “safe place” when college became overwhelming.  I’d go there to study, to talk about trends in education, even for Sunday dinner!

     Mrs. Moore lived to be 102!  I’m convinced that there were other “starfish” that also benefited from her love and compassion.  I will be forever thankful for her love and compassion for this little starfish!  She is the biggest reason I became a teacher, too!

 

                                      

This Speaks to My Heart

This Speaks to My Heart

     For Christmas I received two educational books about the trauma-informed schools approach to student learning.  The first was from the amazing Jim Sporleder.  It’s title: “The Trauma-Informed School-A Step-by-Step Guide for Administrators and School Personnel.”  I just might be a bit over the moon that Mr. Sporleder autographed it for me!!  The other is “Help for Billy” by Heather Forbes, LCSW.  Both books have so much to share and have given a name, understanding, and value to something I have always believed about education.

     First of all, most students who misbehave do so because to them, it is something their brains have been wired to do, coming from a trauma-filled home environment.  Ms Forbes shows that research now indicates that children’s developing brains are even being wired for responses to trauma, during it’s structural development.  Children can’t help it.  Their brain drives behavior.         

    

As Mr. Sporleder says, “You won’t have 100% success, but you can love all of your students 100% unconditionally.”

     It is important to create a family climate in your classroom.  Be fair, firm, and consistent.  Develop relationships with your students, not just the “easy” ones.  ALL.OF.THEM. 

     It is more and more important that we, as teachers, address childhood trauma in the classroom. Jane Ellen Stevens, the editor of ACESTooHigh, and founder and publisher of the ACEs Connection Network, which comprises ACEsTooHigh.com and its companion social network, ACEsConnection.com., states that there is now evidence linking childhood trauma and early onset of adults with chronic disease, mental illness, time in prison, and work issues. In a nutshell, we must not ask students to all fit into the school culture because it is no longer working.  We need to change the school culture to fit the students.  Instead of expelling students, we need to keep them in school, show them that they matter and that we care about them.  It is about creating a place where children feel safe and loved.

     Something that I’ve always believed, in my 33 years of teaching, is that children who are hungry, who are scared, who are angry, who are sad, come to school being unable to learn.  As teachers, we need to address those needs before we can ever start teaching them the academic and school social expectations pieces.  It is up to us, not some program, to change how we do things for the betterment of the students who walk through our classroom doors each and every day.