Relationships

I am submitting the following for a story in a book that will be published later in the year:
This is my story of how an amazing woman changed my life so completely.
     When I was seven years old, my father was killed in Vietnam.  He was returning from a routine flight over Vietnam in a fighter jet and crashed just three miles short of the runway.  No one can explain the crash or why he was even flying that plane.  You see, he was trained on the big planes, the B-52 bombers.  Why he was flying a jet is still a mystery.  His plane was not shot down, nor did he report any mechanical difficulties.  It just went down.  He was pinned beneath the wreckage and it is said that he died instantly.  His co-pilot ejected, but at such a low level, broke his back.  The search and rescue team found him, with his parachute still attached, leaning up against a tree.
  The black car, with the two men dressed in full Air Force dress uniforms knocked on the door of our tiny duplex in Lincoln, Nebraska, before school, on September 20th, 1968.  After they left, I remember sitting, with my younger brother, on my mom's lap and just crying our hearts out.
     Later that week, we had to fly to Long Island, New York because that's where my dad was raised and where the family burial plot was.  (His mother did not want him buried in Arlington.  She wanted him closer to home, as he was her only child.)  I remember staying at my grandparents house with a family member during the church service because my mom thought it was best that my brother and I not go,  and then being picked up and taken to the graveside service.
     Upon returning home, I remember being so afraid that something would happen to my mom and not wanting to go to school.  I remember screaming and crying under the dining room table that I didn't want to go to school.  The logic of a seven-year old:  My dad died when I was in school, so maybe my mom would, too.
     Enter two women for whom I will never be able to repay their debt-Louise Shuman and Maxine Moore, the elementary school counselor and my second grade teacher, respectively.  My mom would drop me and my younger brother off at the designated door each morning and one of these ladies would be there, waiting for us.  I remember spending time in Mrs. Shuman's office, coloring and talking.  What I remember most is Mrs. Moore.
     Mrs. Moore would allow me to come into her classroom before the rest of my class to do odd jobs for her, which included sharpening pencils, passing out papers, and the like. These are things she would have normally done herself, but she saved them for me.  We would talk and this would allow me to feel comfortable in the classroom before the rest of my classmates arrived.  Her compassion, caring, and understanding were  game-changers for this scared little second-grader!
     You would have thought the story ended there, but it did not.  The next year my mom remarried and we moved to a farm a couple of hours away from Lincoln.  However, we still kept the same dentist.  Every time we'd go to the dentist, we'd have an after-school snack with Mrs. Moore.  Secretly, my mom and Mrs. Moore collaborated to make this happen!  So, I never lost that connection that Mrs. Moore and I had built.
     Along the way, I had many other highly influential teachers.  Mr. Larry Fletcher who taught high school English.  Mr. Fletcher taught me that learning can be fun!  Each week, we'd play "Password" with our spelling words.  In the rural farming community where I grew up, class sizes were small.  One section of English met during Band, so all of the Band kids had English together.  When we competed it was always boys against girls and the girls always won!  The overly-competitive boys could never figure out how.  Here is our secret:  We all knew sign language!  My mom was a speech pathologist and one of her students was deaf.  She taught him...and me...sign language, which I, in turn, taught to all of my friends.  It didn't matter who was in the seat for "Password," because we all knew sign language!
     Mrs. Diane and Mrs. Collen Norvell (now Sipich) taught me the value of music.  Going to music contest was the highlight of my high school years!  We listed to so many talented musicians on those trips.  I have life-long friends from other schools because we have bonded over our shared love of music.  I still love to sing and play the piano.
     Mrs. Fran Conneally.  Fran was the Queen of Handouts!  She was forever copying news article for us to discuss in class.  She was the only teacher I ever had in high school that asked us to do a research paper, complete with sources and a bibliography!  I am so thankful for her passion and her leadership.  I'm pretty sure I would never had survived college without all that I learned from her!
     Years later, I returned to Lincoln for college.  I bet you can guess who wrote one of my reference letters for acceptance into the University of Nebraska-Lincoln!  Because of her amazing influence and compassion, I, too, decided that I wanted to be a teacher!   I had a double major in Elementary Education and Early Childhood Education with a minor in music education.  Many evenings you could find me at Mrs. Moore's home, studying and talking about issues in education.  In addition, on those weekends that I didn't go home to the farm, you could find me at Sunday dinner with the Moore family!
     Now in my thirty-third year of teaching in the area of Early Childhood Education,  Mrs. Moore is on my mind each and every day!  She was the first teacher, of so many, to have a positive impact on my life. I do my best to emulate the care and compassion I learned very early on from Mrs. Moore.  The relationships teachers build with their students can be long-lasting.  You never know how your influence on the life of a child will take them!  In all that you do, show every child that you love them and want what's best for them.  This is something I learned from my second grade teacher, Mrs. Maxine Moore!

My Hearts Hurts

      Another school shooting, bringing the count to 18 school shootings in the 45 days of this calendar year.   

 

Teachers, who put the lives of their students before their own.   

                         Students, whose full potential will never be    realized.   

     Parents, who will never see their child alive again.   

 I don’t have any answers.  I just know that no parent should ever have to bury their child!

I Was a Starfish

I Was a Starfish

     It was September of 1968. I had just started second grade a month prior. Life, as we knew it was about to be turned completely upside down.  There was a knock on the door and there stood two uniformed Air Force officers.  My father had become a casualty of the Vietnam War.

     He was returning from a reconnaissance mission to an airfield in Ubon, Thailand when his fighter jet crashed, just three miles short of the runway.  He was trained to fly B-52 Bombers.  No one knows why he was flying a fighter jet that night.  The co-pilot ejected and lived.  I had just turned seven.  My brother was 5.

     To understand the mind of a seven year-old is a challenge.  I reacted by not wanting to go to school. I can remember hiding under the dining room table of the duplex we were living in.  I was afraid to go to school because my father had died while I was at school and I didn’t want my mother to die while I was at school.  That’s how my little brain was processing this tragedy.

     Enter Maxine Moore and Louise Shuman, second grade teacher and elementary guidance counselor, respectively.  These two women helped me get back in to the school routine, going above and beyond for this little starfish!  Mrs. Moore would greet me at the door and whisk me away to her classroom where she had “jobs” waiting for me.  We would talk while I passed out papers, fed the fish, or sharpened pencils.  Gradually, through the compassion of these two women, I began to feel less afraid. 

     But, wait!!  The story doesn’t stop there!  Mrs. Moore and I stayed in contact with each other, even after my mom remarried and we moved two hours away!  When I moved back to the city I’d been living in during second grade, to attend college, guess who was my biggest cheerleader?  You guessed it!  Mrs. Moore!  Her home was my “safe place” when college became overwhelming.  I’d go there to study, to talk about trends in education, even for Sunday dinner!

     Mrs. Moore lived to be 102!  I’m convinced that there were other “starfish” that also benefited from her love and compassion.  I will be forever thankful for her love and compassion for this little starfish!  She is the biggest reason I became a teacher, too!

 

                                      

This Speaks to My Heart

This Speaks to My Heart

     For Christmas I received two educational books about the trauma-informed schools approach to student learning.  The first was from the amazing Jim Sporleder.  It’s title: “The Trauma-Informed School-A Step-by-Step Guide for Administrators and School Personnel.”  I just might be a bit over the moon that Mr. Sporleder autographed it for me!!  The other is “Help for Billy” by Heather Forbes, LCSW.  Both books have so much to share and have given a name, understanding, and value to something I have always believed about education.

     First of all, most students who misbehave do so because to them, it is something their brains have been wired to do, coming from a trauma-filled home environment.  Ms Forbes shows that research now indicates that children’s developing brains are even being wired for responses to trauma, during it’s structural development.  Children can’t help it.  Their brain drives behavior.         

    

As Mr. Sporleder says, “You won’t have 100% success, but you can love all of your students 100% unconditionally.”

     It is important to create a family climate in your classroom.  Be fair, firm, and consistent.  Develop relationships with your students, not just the “easy” ones.  ALL.OF.THEM. 

     It is more and more important that we, as teachers, address childhood trauma in the classroom. Jane Ellen Stevens, the editor of ACESTooHigh, and founder and publisher of the ACEs Connection Network, which comprises ACEsTooHigh.com and its companion social network, ACEsConnection.com., states that there is now evidence linking childhood trauma and early onset of adults with chronic disease, mental illness, time in prison, and work issues. In a nutshell, we must not ask students to all fit into the school culture because it is no longer working.  We need to change the school culture to fit the students.  Instead of expelling students, we need to keep them in school, show them that they matter and that we care about them.  It is about creating a place where children feel safe and loved.

     Something that I’ve always believed, in my 33 years of teaching, is that children who are hungry, who are scared, who are angry, who are sad, come to school being unable to learn.  As teachers, we need to address those needs before we can ever start teaching them the academic and school social expectations pieces.  It is up to us, not some program, to change how we do things for the betterment of the students who walk through our classroom doors each and every day.

Peace, Part II

PEACE

Part II

Philippians 4:7King James Version (KJV)

⁷ And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

This is where my #OneWord journey will begin.  I am looking to God for peace in the things I do not understand.

Jeremiah 29:11-13New International Version (NIV)

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
     If He knows the plans for my life, then who am I to question those plans?  “Everything happens for a reason.”  I need to have PEACE in respecting that reason and believing that everything will turn out as it should and was scripted by God.
     There are so many unknowns in this crazy world.  I could chose to stress about them or I can choose to believe that everything will work out the way it should.
     These things I do know:

·       My marriage is stronger than it’s ever been.

·       We have three amazing children who have found their own passions.

·       We have a gorgeous granddaughter who is smart as a whip!

·       I am happier than I have ever been in my teaching career.

·       I work with an outstanding group of caring and compassionate individuals.

·       I have a close circle of friends and we have each other’s backs!

That being said, there are some things going on, professionally, that I do not have control over.  This is why I’ve chose PEACE as my #OneWord.  I need to be at PEACE and trust the journey.  I know that I am going to need to continue revisiting this post along the journey and digging deeper to find that PEACE for things I do not understand.

#OneWord

#OneWord

     I have made the decision to be a part of #oneword for the upcoming year.  The word I have chose to pursue, study, and to have as my mantra is “peace.”  My choice was very God-given!  When I read about this fairly new idea, the word came to me almost immediately.  I didn’t really have to think about it at all!

     There is so much in the world that is unknown, and that, quite frankly, I have no personal control over.  I could stress over it all or I could trust the journey.  I’m choosing to trust the journey.  For I know what I have planned for you,' says the LORD. 'I have plans to prosper you, not to harm you. I have plans to give you a future filled with hope.

     Here’s what you need to do to choose your word:  pick your word, then go to this link and enter it.  http://getoneword.com/

More to come...

 

My "Why"

My “Why”

     Backstory:  A couple of weeks ago, I received a letter from one of the first students I had in kindergarten when moving to our current community.  It was so touching that I literally cried!  I contacted the student’s teacher and asked when their class goes to lunch, so I could surprise this student.  Working with her mom, I learned that her grandmother is in hospice.   Her mom called my previous school to give me permission to come at lunch.

     I walked into the lunchroom.  The class wasn’t there yet.  However, my last kindergarten class, now second graders, was.  I was greeted with lots of “Mrs. Jenkins!!” and one particular little girl jumped up from her seat and into my arms!  She said, “I thought you forgot about us!”  With tears in my eyes, I told her, “Never!”

     By this time, the sixth grade students had begun filing in.  I didn’t see my letter-writing friend, so I asked her teacher where she was.  Her teacher pointed to the lunch-from-home table.  As I walked over, she didn’t see me coming.  I sat down next to her.  She turned, her mouth dropped open, and she threw her arms around my neck and started crying!  Other students that I’d had in kindergarten came over and were giving me hugs and high-fives.  The whole time the young lady held on for dear life! 

     Friends!  This is my “why!”  This is why I do what I do and love what I do.  It’s about making a difference in the lives of my students!  When I needed that reminder the most, God provided it with all the love I was able to feel in that school cafeteria.  Lunch was supposed to be about the young lady.  However, my bucket was filled, as well!  I am so blessed!