The attached image was sent to me, privately, by a dear friend of mine. This friend wondered whether or not I felt this was a true statement. Here are my thoughts. They are based on many years of classroom experience.
What I said was this, "Not the grooming and sexual chaos part. We are expected to parent students when all their parents do is hand them a screen. Parents don't TALK to their kids. They don't have screen-free dinner times. Kids don't know how to physically play." Allow me to expand.
Kids eat three meals a day at school (breakfast, lunch, and a healthy snack), to make sure they are getting healthy foods. This leaves families needing only to provide one meal a day. It used to be that the only meal kids got at school was lunch.
With more and more focus on the mental health needs of our students, classrooms are also becoming the place where kids learn the correct way to handle their strong emotions. In my classroom, the motto is: "Never hurt anyone one the inside or the outside." That's pretty all-encompassing. My kids are little, so we talk about ways to be hurt that you can't see on the outside, but that hurt you on the inside, like the ever present, "I'm not going to be your friend!" or "You can't play with us." and how that makes us feel. You can't see it on the outside, but it sure hurt us on the inside. Many children are not taught how to care about others before coming to school. When talking to one parent about some behavior issues his child had, he said to me, "You should be glad you didn't have me in school. I was way worse." You're missing the point. We need to work together so that these behavior problems don't continue.
We teach children how to self-regulate; what to do if you're mad, sad, glad, or afraid. If you're mad, you can't slug someone at school. If you're sad, we help our kids learn to express why they are sad and how we can help them fix that. Sometimes we can't and our kids just need a hug or someone to listen. Afraid? Oh, baby! The things these kids are growing up around. It would scare me and I'm an adult! Kids talking about It and Pennywise. Seriously? Those are R-rated movies for a reason. Kids don't have the ability, yet, to understand the difference between movies and real life. The same is true for video games. There are plenty out there that are age-appropriate for kids. Call of Duty and Grand Theft auto are not two of them.
Today's students are coming to their classrooms with fewer and fewer social skills. Lots of this was brought on by the pandemic, sure. However, there is also a fundamental breakdown in some homes. In most homes, mine included, there is a crazy addiction to screen time. I know I've blogged about this before. Kids get cranky in the grocery store? Hand them a device. Kids are being loud when you're trying to have an adult conversation? Hand them a screen. Screen time has become a babysitter for kids. It has taken the place of face-to-face conversations. Kids don't know how to have conversations anymore, much less how to disagree appropriately. That training should begin in the home. In most cases it does. However, there are many cases where it does not.
The rise in inattentive behaviors? Screen time. Lack of meaningful conversations in the home. Kids want the instant gratification that screen time gives. When I was assessing kids (which happens to be on a device) kids were clicking all over the place, rather than waiting to hear the instructions. They want a response and they want it NOW! Kids don't know how to wait and take turns.
Home visits? "Here. Play on my phone while I talk to your teacher." What? No! Involve the child in the conversation! This is a team effort!
This is in no way meant to be a put-down of families. They are doing everything they can to just keep their heads above water. I get that, This is why schools are so important! We are working in tandem with the families to ensure that each child in our classroom is working to his.her full potential. Ask any of my previous families. We work together. Sometimes the conversations we have are not easy for either of us. That being said, if all we want is what's best for kids, then sometimes we need to have those conversations. Is the role of education changing? Constantly! But to have someone come out and say that schools are failing? I challenge any of you to come and spend a week in my classroom! Not an hour or a day. You won't get a true feeling for the nature of the classroom. You need a big picture of the daily struggles and triumphs that teachers deal with each and every single day. Don't you dare say we are failing our students! We do the best we know how. And when we learn a better way, we do better. Why? For the kids. It's always about the kids.
