Be a Voice, Not an Echo

     Have you ever thought that a statement might just be given to you for a purpose? That's what happened to me this morning. I was mindlessly scrolling through Facebook while drinking a mug of chai tea and waiting for the dryer to finish when this statement, from six years ago, popped up on my news feed: “Be A Voice, Not An Echo.” It made me stop and think. So here goes. I'm being a voice.

     To say this past school year was rough would be a huge understatement. In the process of jumping through hoops for three sets of hoops, (district, building, and Head Start)  I lost myself, my focus, and my identity. Reflecting this summer has helped me see that and it breaks my heart.

First of all, I moved to a new school district. Learning the cultural norms of a new district is tough. Not knowing the ins and outs of the building and district is daunting for any new teacher, whether they are a veteran teacher or fresh from college. I knew no one and felt like I needed to show everyone that I was a good teacher and worthy colleague. This was only my perception.

     Secondly, and probably my biggest downfall personally, was that our school district was part of a collaborative agreement with Head Start. I have never, nor will ever, look at a child differently because of their socio-economic status, color of their skin, the family's religious preference, learning exceptionalities, or even their behavior. To me, all little people are the same and have, relatively, the same needs; to be loved and to explore and be curious. All kids are equal in that arena.

So back to this previous school year. Because Head Start is a federal program, they need to follow certain governmental procedures and policies. Understood. The struggle was that old adage: “It's always been done that way.” I had two classroom aides, that were paid by Head Start. I am paid by the school district. My aides were immersed in “The Head Start Way,” and could not, or chose not to, bend to my way of thinking about what's best for kids and thirty-four years of experience in Early Childhood Education. My aides were, in fact, telling me how I should run my classroom. Honestly, it got to the point where I would get out the Head Start manual and ask them to show me the policy.  Unless it was a governmental policy, I told my aides that we were doing it my way. This caused a huge division in our classroom. This was were I got lost. My whole mindset was changed. I went from thinking “This is what's best for kids,” to “Can I teach this without causing a conflict between myself and my aides?” I completely lost what was best for kids. I can see that now, a month after school is out. It has taken that long to unravel all of that in my mind.

     To the families of last year's students, I'm sorry! I did the best I could given the circumstances. I tried not to let it show with your sweet, precious, children. They are what kept me grounded. Please know that. To my team, my tribe; thank you for your undying support! I couldn't have made it without you! To building and district leadership; next year will be better. That is my promise to you. I will be better. My focus will be on what truly matters; the children. As for the coming year-watch out! I'm back and will be advocating for children with an unmatched love and fierceness!