#OneWord: 2024-"Engage"

     For the past several years, rather than make a New Year's resolution, that I'm never going to keep, I have chosen one word to be my focus for the ensuing year. I started doing this after reading the book by Jon Gordon and friends, when I learned about the book on a Twitter post.

     Honestly, my word for each year just "comes to me," like an "aha" moment and this year was no different. I started thinking about possibilities for my word, and then, like a bolt of lightning, it hit me: "ENGAGE!"  How had I not seen this before?

     You see, I have spoken at conferences about Family Engagement for awhile now. I wrote the book: Teamwork Makes the DreamWork, about the importance of engage families. It's something I am passionate about in my career. I am the primary-level Family Engagement Coordinator for our elementary building, along with an intermediate Family Engagement Coordinator. PreK-5th grade, we have a student body population of around 570 students.

     Engage my students. Make them want to come to school. Help them to be excited about learning! Heaven knows we don't want them to feel like coming to school is a chore, or boring. Let them play! Children learn best by playing! (That's a whole different blog post!!)

     Engage their families! Invite them in! Let them be a part of our learning experiences! I have a monthly Family Engagement Friday, where the families of our students are invited in for a morning of learning with their children! It's a win-win situation! 

     We also send home monthly learning packets, with instructions, so that families can help their children learn. I believe that many times our families want to help their children learn, they just don't know how. This year, over half my class is non-English speaking, so I send EVERYTHING home in Spanish, as well. I want to be all-inclusive! 

     The response has been amazing! It even led to my classroom being awarded a grant for our Family Engagement Fridays! In December, three members of the Topeka Public Schools Foundation even joined us for our Family Engagement Friday!

     My motto for this school year, which also just came to me during a conversation with our principal, is: "If not us, then who?"  If we don't do, then who will? Who will engage these students? Who will engage these families to help these students, entrusted to our care, become successful humans? It's up to us! IF NOT US, THEN WHO?

Remember Her Name

 Zoey Felix. Five years old. Remember her name.

Zoey Felix was brutally raped and murdered by a man her farther knew.

Zoey, her father and her sister, were homeless, as was her attacker. They lived in a tent in some trees visible from the gas station where her father worked. This is where Zoey was attacked and raped.

Zoey, with her bruised, beaten, and broken body, tried with her last ounces of energy to get to her father, but fell in the field beside the gas station.  With her dying breath, she tried to get help. Remember her name.

Where was her mom? Oh, Mom was on probation for child abuse. Zoey Felix. Remember her name. She was just five years old.

Neighbors looked out for her. She played with their children. She even went to preschool for a time. There were calls to DCF. Before being evicted, they house she stayed in lacked utilities. She was often left alone and wandered the neighborhood. She was FIVE YEARS OLD.  She was failed by DCF. She was failed by her preschool. She was failed by her neighbors. She was failed by her family. Remember her name.

In the past two years, DCF received twenty-three calls regarding the household of Zoey Felix. TWENTY THREE calls in two years. And still, Zoey was at home, left alone to wander the streets of Topeka, being cared for, bathed. and fed by neighbors. DCF did nothing. Remember her name.

Zoey was five years old. She lived in a homeless tent city. She was left unsupervised by her father. She was raped and murdered by a twenty five year old homeless man. She was failed by the very systems and people who were supposed to keep her safe-to protect her. Those people should be held accountable. I hope that they are.

With Zoey's dying breath, she tried to get to her father. EMTs tried to save her life, but her tiny body was too bruised and beaten.

Zoey Felix. Remember her name.

What, Exactly Are We Assessing?

      I know I have been vocal about testing in PreK, and I will continue to be. But, in the midst of fall "assessments", I had an epiphany:  What, exactly, are we assessing?

     Over half my class is non-English speaking this year.  We are required to give an assessment called "My IGDIs."  In the assessment manual, the directions state that the student must answer the question...in English!  How is that even fair to my Hispanic children? It is not a true picture of what they know!  For example, In a subtest, called "Picture Naming," one of the pictures is of a half gallon of milk. The child *should* say milk. My Hispanic children, every.single.one of them said, "leche." the Spanish word for milk, so I could not give them credit for naming that picture because they did not say "milk." Are you kidding me??  They KNEW what it was, they just couldn't say it in English.  What are we assessing?  The assessment says "Picture Naming." 

     On their website, this is what it says about the assessment: 

• Research-based:  MyIGDIs measures and seasonal benchmarks are grounded in years of research by child development experts, so you can have confidence in the reliability and validity of the results. 

     I feel that this assessment is discriminatory toward non-English speaking students, making the students' answers invalid.  Why can't they answer in their native language? It's not meant to test English. It's testing whether or not they know what the picture is. I even tried calling the company, but I needed a district code, which I don't have access to. As fired up as I was, that's probably a good thing!

     I talked to my teaching partners. They have some children who are non-verbal. They can't say "apple."  Why can't there be an assessment for them where there are three pictures and they are asked to point to the apple? Just because they can't say it, doesn't mean they don't know it. This mandated assessment doesn't come close to giving a true picture of where our students are! So when those who are not in our classrooms on a daily basis, who don't know our students, read the data, they aren't seeing a true picture of the students who are in our classrooms. 

     It's not right! It's not fair! It's discriminatory! It doesn't give a true picture of what our students actually know and portrays them in a negative light.

September 19, 1968: My Defining Moment

                                  

     On September 19, 1968 my father;s plane went down just three miles short of the runway in Ubon, Thailand, where he was flying missions over Vietnam. He was killed instantly. I was seven years old. I can honestly say that this tragic event has defined my entire life.

     I had an amazing second grade teacher, Mr,, Maxine Moore, who went above and beyond to comfort a sad, scared, confused little girl navigate some really hard emotions. She allowed me to come into the classroom before the rest of the class to "help" her get ready in the mornings for as long as I needed to.

     We stayed in touch with her, even after my mom remarried and we moved a couple of hours away, meeting up with her any time we came to town. She came to my high school graduation! When I went to college, it was back in the city where Mrs. Moore lived. She invited me over to escape the craziness of dorm life, to talk about trends in education, and even for Sunday dinner if I didn't go home for the weekend.  She taught me about how important relationships are when you're a teacher.

     That's why I can say my father's death defined my entire life. I try my best, every day, to emulate the kind of relationship that Mrs. Moore showed me. I feel that the relationships that I have with my students, and their families, are the key ingredient to my forty-year teaching career. If it weren't for Mrs. Moore's love and kindness, I don't even know if I would have become a teacher. I am grateful to her every single day.

 

Where Were You When The World Stopped Turning?

      9/11. Patriot's Day. We Will Never Forget. Do you remember? I do.

     Chuck had left the night before, flying from Kansas City to Minneapolis for a conference. If you'll remember, one of the flights that hit one of the Twin Towers originated in Minneapolis. On Chuck's flight, he sat next to a Middle Eastern gentleman who kept reading his Koran and praying. One of the hijackers? We'll never know.

     That morning began like any other in our household. Jacque was a freshman and Abbey was in middle school. The girls left together because they started earlier. I was getting ready for work and Luke was chilling, watching Sports Center. He called his friend to see if he was ready to be picked up. His friend asked if he was watching the news. Luke told him she was watching Sports Center. His friend told him to change the channel.  We switched over just as the second plane hit the Twin Towers.  I vividly remember Luke asking if we could go see that movie, and me saying, "Buddy, that's no movie."

     We had to go to school, but I was in shock! We drove by the high school because I knew Jacque had marching band practice. I just wanted to put my eyes on her. I pulled up to the curb and just watched her for a little bit. Above us, there were circular jet trails. I learned later that all flights were being grounded. The jet trails we saw were planes waiting to land in Kansas City.

     I don't remember teaching that day. We were all doing our best to maintain our composure, find out whatever we could, and keep our little people from finding out. On my lunch break, I went to the middle school to put eyes on Abbey. She was in the commons. Her principal, and good friend of mine, came out of the office. He told me that they weren't telling them anything. Abbey's friends said they heard something was bombed. I was able to say, "It was not a bomb." When I went back to my school, cars were lined up out onto the highway at the gas stations. It was just so surreal.

     We tried to function as best as we could, with everything shut down, everyone glued to their televisions, and Chuck stuck in Minneapolis, but NO! Somehow or another Abbey's cat managed to get out of the house. She was declawed and had no way of defending herself. The four of us combed the neighborhood looking for her. During this process, Luke jumped up to grab the rim of a neighbor's basketball goal. It was the kind on wheels that can be moved. He pulled the whole goal down on his head. His head hit the pavement and the goal hit him on the back of the head. Now I had two messed up kids: one crying for her missing cat and one with a concussion, on top of having no idea how my husband was going to get home!

     I kept Luke home from school the next day. Molly, the cat, was on the front porch in the morning. The best we can figure is that she accidentally got shut in someone's garage overnight. There were no flights, no buses, no trains, no cars to rent.  It took Chuck four days, three taxis, and a friend to get home.

If You Build It, They Will Come

      Family engagement is my "thing." So much so that I even wrote a book about it that was published a little over a year ago.

I believe that a child's family is their first teacher. I further believe that we could learn a lot about how to best help our students learn if we would just rely a little bit more on the insight of their families.

     Backtrack about three years and a different district: My co-teacher and I decided to combine our classes and do a monthly STEM/STEAM parent engagement morning activity. While it was well-received, it was also cut short by the damn-demic (I borrowed that term from a speaker I heard this summer!)

     Now that the restrictions from the damn-demic have been lifted, I asked permission, in my new district, to reinstate the Family Engagement STEM/STEAM monthly activity, and I got permission!

     Our first one was this past Friday. Let me tell you, it exceeded my wildest hopes! It was so much fun!  Out of the 14 students we had in attendance, 10 had one or both parents with them! The theme was "Apples. Apples. Everywhere!" We had four stations.  I started with a story of the star in the center of the apple. That gained the children's attention. They thought I was magical!

     We had four stations:

• Torn Paper Apples-children could choose from red, green, or yellow. They tore the paper into small pieces and glued it onto a small paper plate, then added a stem and leaf. (Tearing paper builds fine motor skills)
• Apple Prints-We had red, yellow, and green paint. Children dipped the apples in the paint and stamped them on the paper. (Process art)
• Johnny Appleseed Hats-Children colored and cut out saucepans,clued them on a strip of paper, colored an apple, glued it onto the saucepan. The hats were pre-labeled with their names:   "___________  Appleseed." (Fine motor-coloring, cutting)
• Apple-tasting-we had apple juice, apple pie, freeze-dried apple chips, red apples, green apples, and applesauce. I went to three stores and couldn't find any yellow apples. The children were to taste the apples and decide which kind was their favorite. Their family wrote their name on a sticky note and added it to a graph I had created. When everyone had been through all four stations, we talked about the graph. We counted, compared and contrasted, which had more and less, which had the most, which had the same (all math skills)

     The families had fun! The children had fun! The teachers had fun! One dad even ended up with what looked like war paint on his face! I'm not sure how that happened. Another dad said to me, "How do you do this every day?" To which I replied, "With a smile on my face!"  When he left, he gave me a hug and said, "Thank you for what you do."  I told him, "It's all about the kids!" It was exhausting, but so worth it! We can't wait for next month!

Why Children Need to Play

     

    Recently, children appear to have a weakness for human connection. They don't know how to play together. They don't know how to talk to each other.  They come from homes where oftentimes the adult caregivers are consumed by their phones and or give their child a device to play with.  Gone are the family dinners around the table so many of us grew up with. Gone are family game nights. Gone are family outings to the park. The victims are our children. They don't know how to even converse with one another. Ask older siblings to teach their younger siblings how to play a game

     Play space has changed as play has moved from outdoor neighborhoods to the indoors. Additionally, the things children play with have changed, as well. Less time is spent in unstructured, mixed aged play -groups of family and neighborhood play.  Why? Two-parent income families is the highest reason noted. Another is that families are concerned about the safety of their community parks.  Parents feel frustrated that they can't let their small child go outside unsupervised because there are no other neighborhood kids around to play with.  

     Playing grocery store is actually far better for brain development than a math worksheet. How did educated, sensible adults push this aside and how did the developmental building blocks of early childhood development become so diminished? Why do parents and educators who loved unstructured play resist it for their own children when they, themselves loved it so much?

     Play is usually assumed to be a social experience, but what about the times children play by themselves?  Isn't digging in the dirt and making mud pies a form of play?  It's hard to mount a case that decorating a virtual cupcake on an iPad is better than making mud pies or even baking the real thing in the kitchen with an adult who loves that child.

     Play is not the same as organized sports that start as early as three years old.  Children develop athletic skills just as well through the everyday acts of running, jumping, digging, pulling, and pushing, not adult structures and adult-mediated activity.

     We have taken the craving for play away, which may be the single most important ingredient for a robust play habitat.  Adding in outdoor play and the study of the natural world around them is one of the healthiest building blocks of helathy development. Preschoolsers' play is also made more difficult by their concrete stage of development. They have internalized the rules and regulations of play, but lack the knowledge of how to adapt them to different situations Take time to slow down and look at the world through the eyes of a child!  Children need, dare I say, crave, a natural play setting. They love to climb, and dig, pour, mix. and dump. We should be giving them those opportunities.

     According to a study by the Kaiser Family Foundation, as electronics have become more afforable and more geared toward entertainment (cue Ruby Payne) the study found that children were found to spend, on average, ninety minutes more per day exposed to media. Ninety minutes....PER DAY!!  That an hour and a half! An hour and a half that these children are glued to a screen with zero social interaction! Let's ask ourselves: Is being cooped up in a bedroom for a hour and a half each night, playing an action-packed (dare I say, probably not developmentally appropriate) video game an optimal way for children to grow and develop?  Given what we know about early brain development, I should say not! This is over-stimulation at it's finest, leading to attention problems later in school.

     Sit down and spend some time with a child. Give them the attention that they need! You would be surprised at the adorable and well-thought out ideas. For example, while supervising learning station roatations this week, one student said to me, "I'm going to use brown."  I told him I thought that was a greawt choice. He said, "You know why I chose brown?" I asked him to please tell me. He told me it was his favorite color. "Do you know why it's my favorite color?" he asked me. I told him I'd really like to know. He said,"Because it's the color of chocolate milk and chocolate milk is my favorite!" So well thought out. I loved his reasoning! Spend time with children. It's so much fun to hear what they're thinking. Don't ignore them. Don't give them a device. Give them your TIME!