The five stages of grief, as identified by Elisabeth Kubler Ross and David Kessler, are as follows: The five stages, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance are a part of the framework that makes up our learning to live with loss. They are tools to help us frame and identify what we may be feeling. Here are my own, personal, thoughts about the end of the school year and the Corona Virus Pandemic.
- Denial: What?? It's bad enough that we have to close schools? Can't we just keep it business as normal for one more week, until Spring Break, when the buildings can be thoroughly decontaminated? Sure! The kids can eat breakfast and lunch in the classroom to keep the number of students congregating to a bare minimum. It's only for a week. Why have I not heard anything about this crazy virus until about a week ago? How did it get this bad so quickly? Is this some form of a terroristic threat? How will I know if my students are alright? How will I know if my family is alright? I was going to go wedding dress shopping with our daughter, then go to the farm to see my parents. All of a sudden, travel was “strongly advised against,” and leaving the state was prohibited. Practically overnight! This is serious!
- Anger: So angry!! I can't see my parents. I can't see our kids. I'm stuck at home. Digitally teaching.....four-year olds. Yeah, right! Pity party? Damn straight! I've been teaching for 37 years, almost all in early childhood. I have a masters degree. Life, as I've known it, has always centered around teaching. Teaching is supposed to be a face-to-face, hands-on, profession—not a digital one. I didn't get into teaching to teach from a laptop! I just didn't! I NEED the laughter, tears, challenges, and successes that come from watching my little people grow and learn. Spring time is my favorite time to teach! We've incubated eggs, watched caterpillars make cocoons and hatch, then let them go on the playground, we've planted seeds and watched them grow. This is the time we celebrate all that we have become over the course of the school year! Poof! Gone.
- Bargaining: Well...maybe we could just go see our kids at their homes? No. Maybe we could have small groups? Nope. We could be carriers and not know it, thus perpetuating the spread of the virus. How can we have relationships with our kids if we have to do it through a screen? When you're teaching the littles, they have to rely on their parents to get them online, to help them do the activities. My little people can't do this on their own. This isn't how the end of the school year was supposed to be! How can we fix this? Bottom line---we can't.
- Depression: Where I currently am. I went to school today in order to prep my room for summer cleaning. It was like a time warp. The count-down caterpillar was still on 117 days of school. The calendar was on March 13. Frozen in time. It was weird! The whole time I was there, I kept hearing the funny phrases and laughter of the children who should be in the classroom. Depressing? You bet!
- Acceptance: I'm not there....yet. It's going to take me awhile. This isn't how the year was supposed to end. We were supposed to have a small program and sing some song for our parents. We were supposed to celebrate our school family, together! Cheated? Definitely! It's going to take some time to process and accept this.
