While I would be the first person to tell you how important committed, compassionate, and knowledgeable teachers are in the life of a child, parents are the child's very first, and far more important, teachers. Parents
are the people responsible for instilling
behaviors, good or bad in our children, not schools. Think about this: A teacher is with their for about seven hours a day,
five days a week, for about 30 weeks a year. That is not enough time to
teach them how to behave on top of teaching them the curriculum. Do teachers still teach school expectations and the rules? Of course we do! Every social setting has different norms of acceptable behavior and schools are no different. That being said, parents are still responsible for teaching their children acceptable behaviors.
Parents. You are not your child's best friend. You are a parent. Your job is
to instill good behaviors and morals and enforce the rules. A best friend
is a person who supports you in good times and bad but does not hold
you accountable for your actions or discipline you. Parents are the ones who should hold their children accountable for their actions. When parents choose not to follow rules, procedures, and expectations they are teaching their children that the rules don't apply to them or that given scenario and that is a disrespect of authority and social norms.
Learned helplessness in a child, most times, is the fault of the parent. While it's very easy to say, "Just let me do it." In class, failure is embraced. Failure is a learning opportunity to learn. The age-old adage, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try, again." teaches a child to persevere. Failure is part of growing up and kids need to learn to
fail, then pick themselves up, brush themselves off and try again. They
need to figure out how to follow instructions and they need to figure
out what steps to take when they are not given instructions but simply a
task to accomplish.
When your child reaches school-age, please be your child's advocate. You know your child best. However, it is also important to Support your child's teacher by listening to them
and understanding what they say about your child because your child may behave differently out of your presence than they
do in it. I know mine did.
When a
teacher tells you about something abut your child, you should not ask your child if
what their teacher is saying is true. You may think you are involving
your child in the discussion, but what you have actually done is to
question that teacher's reliability to their face. Think of it from the
teacher's perspective. You have essentially told them that you won't
believe what they just told you until your child confirms it. When you contradict or question
your child's teacher in front of your child, you are telling your child
that the teacher's authority is not to be respected.
Parents are doing a huge disservice to their kids. We are raising a generation
of children who are going to be incapable of succeeding in the modern
era. They are being taught to only think of themselves and to give up, sometimes before
even trying. Your
job, as a parent is to set an example and teach your children the
important lessons of life. Your child's teachers can supplement your
lessons, but you are the ones who your kids will imitate, so give them
something good to imitate.
